Getting past "Lukewarm"

Have you ever seen a baby hungry? The child cries, and cries until her/his mother finally feeds them. This routine happens regularly, it is needed for the baby's development and growth. After a while, the baby becomes a child and learns to recognize when he/she is hungry. They feel the hunger pains, they know what they have to do. In Christ we are just like babies, and he is our nourishment, our FOOD, we cannot grow spiritually if we are not getting fed. How do we know if we are not getting fed? When do we come to this realization?


 I came to this realization during my senior year of college( I'm still a senior two more months to go! This was literally a few months ago) I noticed that I had become the "LukewarmQueen". I would go to an amazing youth event, have a powerful encounter with God, and continue on this "high" for about a month or two. The high eventually fades away, and I realize that I become bored, and everything becomes a routine. It became this cycle that I could not get myself out of. I use to struggle to read the word, and practice what I preach. ESPECIALLY when your living on campus. I remember laying on my bed some time in October just thinking to myself  why do I feel so empty?I felt sick, a deep sadness. I realized that a piece was missing. It was God. I ended up watching this YouTube sermon by pastor Carl Lentz(at the bottom of blog if you'd like to watch it) that completely wrecked me. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I broke down at 3 am, sobbing uncontrollably and repenting, professing to God that I seriously needed to change.You see the issue here is that I had grown accustomed to the morning/before bed prayers, the quick bible app reads, and the semi-living for Christ. I was not carrying myself like the young woman God wanted me to. I kept drowning more and more into the world. In my head I knew I was saved, and wanted to live for God but my actions proved otherwise. I wasn't feeding my spirit.When Jesus was crucified he deposited the Holy spirit unto those who believed in him, and he would be able to lead us. I payed no attention to the holy spirit at all. Anyways the issue at hand was I was lukewarm and didn't know what to do about it. One important fact is that you CAN get out of the cycle, although it might be hard, take a long time, might seem impossible,  it can be done. This is how I went about it.

1: Let your past go: A lot of the reasons that I kept going back to this cycle was the simple fact that I did no believe. I didn't believe that God forgave me, I didn't believe that I could change-It was too good to be true! Could he really change my addictions, could he really heal my cold-lonely-broken heart? There were times where I tripped and fell because I kept looking back. I wasn't walking in my freedom because I didn't believe that I was "Free". Once you have accepted that God has wiped your sins away, and that he has poured his grace out on you, then truly my beloveds your past is your past! It can't hurt you anymore, Your not that person that you once where. You are not that person anymore. First things first it's time to move on. How can you walk forward with chains of the past tied to your ankles?

2: Learn to repent: okay so I went through the motions all the time, and after a while it became a routine. Right before I sinned I would pray "lord forgive me" When I should have been praying to help me stop! I should have been meditating on my word to not sin to begin with! Granted we're not perfect, and everyone sins. Let's not make willingly sinning a habit. It's so easy to go about it in that way, especially when your use to it.What God wants is true repentance, from the heart.


3: Drop everything and follow God: Drop it. Don't think about it just do it. Thinking about it will make you compromise which is the story of my life. Drop the worries of the future, your career, your life. Drop the thought of when is your Eve, or Adam coming. Focus on God. He orchestrates you life, he knows what he's doing. Don't think about the people who will feel some type of way, that's their issue! If you have to act a certain way around your friends or "ignore" the holy spirit -then those are not friends love. Drop it all  and go. You are a disciple of Christ. When God call's he calls. No need for baggage, or questions-Go.
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4: Spent TIME with God: This is self-explanatory. Don't wait till you've given the world everything in your day then talk about "oh I'm about to get me some Jesus" two hours before bed. What if God did this to us? You cannot expect the growth of a relationship if you are not putting quality time in it. Communication is key with God. Read your word, pray without ceasing, apply the word of God to your life. Have fun with it, thanks to Heather Lindsey's movement with Pinky promise I have discovered "Dates with God". Rest in his presence, dance in his presence, vent in his presence-Just spend TIME with him. There will be a day when that time will be gone. Use your time wisely. Stop giving your time to all these things of the world. I use to give my time to music. I would spend all this time listening to song after song, downloading everything! I was feeding my addiction and didn't even know it. You get attention from what you give attention to. God's sweet presence just ask's of you for a relationship. Whats better then developing a relationship with the one who has saved you, redeemed you, free'd you, loves you unconditionally?

5: Be in constant prayer and In your word: Pray about everything. Legit, I use to pray when something big was coming up. A test, or my statement account, besides that I'd always give God my usual dry three-minute ritual prayer. Then when I realized that I was only giving half of me to God I started to pray more. I prayed about my issues with lust, my issues with doubt, and insecurities. I prayed about my meals each day, and minor and big decisions. I just prayed  throughout the day. Once I began to study my bible everything started to make sense. How to submit to God, the knowledge of knowing its not about you-so much more. I now get so giddy when I read Gods word. I feel at peace and at ease. Learn some verses, put them on your smart phones, iPads, alarms. Read them on your way to work, school, out with friends. Read them when you start to get nervous, read them when your day seems to be getting the best of you.

  "Your word is a lamp to my feet"
    and a light to my path-Psalm 119:105

 I know this may seem much, but honestly it's not. You just have to think how bad do you want it. You say you love Christ but do you? Being lukewarm happens, its okay-but staying lukewarm is an issue.. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted to stop living a mediocre life, I wanted to develop in Christ. I wanted to know who this gentle, super-being  really was. I knew him but I didn't know enough. This world has nothing for us. Its a constant battle, but oh man when you give God your all! Its so life-changing so amazing. I'm still in college, I'm still learning every day. It gets so hard sometimes when; I get that call from my Ex, When I'm around negative and mean people,or when I feel like a loser if I don't do the "cool thing". Well then so be it! I'l be a loser for the glory of Christ. I'll learn to shut my mouth and be slow to anger! I'll allow God to take care of  all the randoms, and understand that my Adam is very much still asleep( Random= A void filler for the time being). I just want Christ. That is all. And I believe that if you want to truly live this life, drop everything and just do it. What have you got to lose?

   

What Is Love

     Yay to my very first blog post!I'm so excited *dances*.

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        So this is a question I've been asking myself for a few years now; what is love? Growing up I experienced a lot of "tough love" which was all I knew. I won't get too detailed, but I was always the different one in my family. Besides my mother, I was the only other person who really showed affection and emotions. Even when it came to school, and other activities-I was always so "loving". I thought it was a curse at first, but it was actually a gift.To make a long story short, a few people treated me very badly, and I ended up with a severely bruised heart. At that time I had thought I deserved it, I thought it was karma and that God was getting me back. Lets get one thing straight, God is not an ordinary being, so "getting you back" Is not something of his nature. He disciplines his children like a father corrects his child. My strict and very traditional church taught us to believe otherwise. They taught us that God was some big scary man that was creeping on you in the shower,and the moment you do something wrong your destined for hell forever. False! There is something called repentance, and forgiveness and most importantly his amazing grace( future blog idea!). 

     Anyways, I was searching for love in all the wrong places-literally. I had so much voids in my life, and so many void fillers. I was so messed up and I believed that nothing could save me. I was raised in a religious household, but I didn't really know or understood God. It wasn't until my junior year of high school I started to feel this urge to understand this love some of the youth at my church spoke of. At that time I was going through some things that (thank God) I've been healed from( still sort of healing-it's a process). I remember going to an event with my choir, and when we went back to church we all sat around and just put on soothing worship music. I don't recall how and when it happened, but I began to feel strange. I was overwhelmed with this presence of peace, and felt lightheaded. I felt reassured, and at that moment all my worries didn't seem that serious anymore. It felt like my heart was going to explode! I knew at that instant it was God. I wanted to sing, to shout, but I ended up crying pent up tears of pain that had been bottled up inside me for years. At that moment I had experienced the love of God for the first time(I'm pretty sure I experienced it before, but I was aware of it at that moment). While kneeling down I attempted to pray. Before then I had done the usual bed time and morning prayers which was practically rehearsed. I just talked.. told him that I was severely broken, and I just wanted to be okay. That I wanted to be loved, and experience a love that I had never experienced before. I never looked back. The next day I went to the alter and gave my life back to Christ. 

                                           

         It has been a whirlpool since. I now understand that Love is God..and God is love. He is love, literally. He CAN'T stop loving us because that's his nature (Stated by the amazingly anointed Judah Smith I posted his video below) we've been searching for love, and its here. Always been here, never left.I'm still learning everyday about love. Often times we forget about love because we are so broken, and still upset at the past. Of course it's not that easy, but since I've experienced the love of God I have not been the same. AT ALL. I can't stop smiling, I can't stop loving others, no matter how hard it is..Did you think God would give us easy people to love??  No matter what trials, and rocks, mountains I face- I still feel his love. It's amazing to know that the creator of the universe, the same God who helped Moses, the same God of the bible..that same God loves me! who am I to deserve his great love?His child, purchased and made new, I need him daily. I encourage who ever feels the way I felt to take a step forward. I was pretty depressed for a very long time. You can get help, and it's okay to reach out to others. Reach out to God.. he's waiting to hear your voice. I pray that the bonds of unhappiness, and the confusion of what love is, broken. I declare( in the name of Jesus) that who ever is reading this and feels that they cannot be loved, that Jesus reveals himself to you! As well as you opening up your heart to him. Believe it, and receive it. I've given the world my everything, my heart, my dreams and goals. I gave it to God, and my life changed for the better. Try giving it to God..At this point what have you got to lose? 

Anyways yay to my first post( imaginary fireworks going off in my room). I also recommend this amazing book by this extraordinary woman called Heather Lindsey. I have the link below. This book my ladies( it's a book for the ladies, but her husband Cornelius has a male version too) is life changing. I'm actually reading it for the second time. I also plan on attending the conference for Pinky Promise. Pinky Promise is a movement started by Heather, its pure joy. Woman all over the country getting to know God and participating in bible studies, as well as group outings. It's like having a group of sisters and being part of a sister hood. Now that's love!There's a link to the Pinky Promise website and her book. Until next time my dears. I've also started a YouTube channel!!I'm not as computer savey as I thought, so i'm still in the process of  trying to intertwine them both. Hopefully I get it next time. 

* PinkyPromise 

http://www.pinkypromisemovement.com/

1 Corinthians 13:4 NET

  "Love is patient , love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. It is not glad in injustice, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things"